Tonight You're On My Mind
by kvh502
Summary: Filling in all the gaps of Remus and Tonks' relationship from the start, told in a series of incidents. Mainly an outlet for RL/NT fluff. Rated M to be on the safe side for later chapters.
1. Prologue

**Tonight You're On My Mind**

**A/N: This is my take on the Remus/Tonks relationship starting from the end of GoF and the start of OotP.**

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**Prologue**

Kingsley Shacklebolt changed my life. When he called me into his office that day I had no idea that what he would say would have such an effect on every aspect of my life.

"Tonks! Can I have a word?" he had called.

" 'Course." I'd replied whilst mentally rifling through any potential misdemeanours I might have committed recently.

I walked into his office, only tripping on the doorframe, and took the seat he motioned to. There was a moment of silence where Kingsley regarded me intensely before apparently being satisfied by whatever he saw in my steady gaze.

"I overheard your discussion with Arthur Weasley today."

I winced. I knew Arthur from when Charlie and I had been at school together and I happened to know that he was a sympathetic ear to bend about the Ministry and their recent change in attitude towards Dumbledore. Ever since the Triwizard Tournament, there had been rumours in the Ministry about Dumbledore's competence and his involvement with Harry Potter and You-Know-Who's return. Personally I was inclined to believe Dumbledore and Potter, what could they possibly have to gain by lying? However, the Ministry as a whole was not of this opinion. I thought I'd been discreet in voicing my opinions, evidently not.

Kingsley continued, his features not giving away anything. "I understand you have some doubts about the way the Ministry is handling the events of the Triwizard Tournament?"

I composed myself. It wasn't as if they could charge me with heresy. "I just don't think Dumbledore's claims should be ignored. I understand that there's not enough information to declare You-know-Who's return to the public, but the claims can't be unsubstantiated. Surely it would be better to investigate and be prepared than to be caught by surprise."

Kingsley regarded me impassively for a second before a smile broke out across his face. "I always knew you had promise Tonks."

Now I was confused. "Sorry?"

"Arthur's been telling me about your doubts and we've all discussed it and decided that we'd like to offer you a chance to do something about it."

Things weren't getting any clearer. "We?"

Kingsley smiled again. "Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix Tonks?"

xXx

The last time I had spoken to Dumbledore had been in my final year at Hogwarts when I had been sent to him for turning Horatio Heng's fingers into flobberworms after he'd groped me in Potions. Now he was inducting me into the Order of the Phoenix, which included, among others, my falsely imprisoned cousin, who I'd believed to be somewhere in Eastern Europe until yesterday. Surreal didn't quite seem to cover it.

The meeting ended and most members seemed disinclined to linger. I didn't really know what to do. Fortunately I didn't have long to ponder my possible courses of action as I found my pink, spiky hair being vigorously ruffled. I turned round in surprise, only to find Sirius Black grinning at me like a loon.

"Well cousin, I'm glad to see the Ministry hasn't drained all the colour out of you yet."

I scoffed. "As if!" We stood there smiling tentatively for a few seconds, before I decided _sod it_ and threw myself at Sirius, capturing him in a tight hug. "I'm really glad you're not a crazed murderer."

He let out a bark of laughter and hugged me back. "Me too, love. Me too."

"At least someone's glad. I was living a nice, peaceful life until you appeared again." This was delivered with a sufficient amount of teasing that I knew whoever was speaking wasn't serious.

Sirius let out another laugh and released me. "I think you mean incredibly dull and boring Moony. Nymphadora Tonks, let me introduce my oldest friend Remus Lupin."

I turned towards the man who had spoken. He was tall and slim with greying brown hair. He had a handsome, distinguished look to his face despite the scars that marked it. He, like Sirius, looked as if he had lived through more in his 30 odd years than others did in a lifetime. But his golden eyes were sparkling and his smile was warm. He extended his hand to me. "Nymphadora. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I shook his hand and smiled back at him, deciding to ignore the heat that rippled through me at the touch of his skin. "Just Tonks, please."

"I didn't think you looked like much of a Nymphadora." Sirius observed, taking in my frayed jeans that were only just on the right side of decency and cropped purple weird Sisters t-shirt.

"Thankfully not, much to mum's annoyance. I think she's still hoping I'll grow into it."

"Merlin forbid. I think I much prefer you this way. Well just Tonks, I insist you stay for dinner. I want to hear all about the debauched antics of your youth." Sirius was guiding me back to the kitchen table.

I turned to him with the most innocent look I could manage, which consisted of morphing my hair into a fluffy cloud of platinum curls and my eyes into big blue china doll jobs. "What possibly gave you the impression that I ever got into trouble?" I asked, batting my eyelashes for good measure.

Sirius leaned in close, "I can spot the potential for trouble-making a mile away. It's a gift."

"It's true." Remus added, "and I believe Dumbledore mentioned something about a boy named Horatio Heng and flubberworms."

xXx

Time and again over dinner, Remus found his eyes being drawn back to Tonks. She was chatting animatedly with Sirius and they were both in continual fits of laughter as they entertained each other with stories. She was so alive and vibrant it almost hurt to look at her. He couldn't ever remember feeling like that. Something stirred within him when he looked at her. Something he refused to acknowledge as anything other than intrigue. It was as if her presence in this miserable old house had breathed new life into the place and along with it a sense of hope. She turned her smile on him and asked a question; he replied and she laughed. And in that moment Remus knew that knowing Nymphadora Tonks would change his life.

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	2. Chapter 1

**Tonight You're on My Mind**

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"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."  
_- Jacques Delille_

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**Chapter 1**

Nymphadora Tonks, daring Auror and member of the courageous Order of the Phoenix, foiled again by that _sodding_ umbrella stand. In an effort to arrange herself into a more decorous position before anyone found her sprawled on the floor, Tonks hauled herself upright. Inevitably, Mrs. Black's dulcet tones had the house's inhabitants running to shut her up, and a few seconds later Sirius' gaunt figure appeared in the hallway.

"SHUT UP YOU MISERABLE OLD BAT!" he bellowed and forcefully pulled the curtain over the haggard visage of the screeching harridan.

"Sorry. I do try to be quiet, but I swear that bloody thing has moved since last time." Tonks apologised glaring at the umbrella stand.

Sirius flashed her one of his brilliant smiles and slung his arm around her shoulders, guiding her back down the hall and into the kitchen.

"If I'm going to be disturbed by my mother's ranting it couldn't be for a better reason than to announce your presence love."

He pushed her into a chair and put the kettle on to boil. Tonks had to suppress a smile as she watched him bustle around the kitchen. It never failed to amuse her that Sirius Black, notorious criminal (innocent though he may be) and legendary lothario, turned into a mother hen whenever he had his younger cousin to fuss over. Sure enough a large mug of hot, sweet tea was plonked in front of her on the table along with a tin full of an assortment of Molly Waesley's baked goods. Tonks seized a piece of cake that had the hopeful appearance of the lemon drizzle variety, and took an unceremoniously large bite. Sirius did the same from the opposite side of the table.

"So how's work?" he asked in a spray of crumbs. For all the Black's notions of propriety, Sirius had truly appalling table manners. She'd wondered if this had been a side effect of Azkaban, but Remus had assured her that he had always been a disgusting eater.

Tonks took the time to chew and swallow her mouthful before replying. "You know the ministry. They stick their heads in the sand and blithely carry on. Kingsley had to physically restrain me from slapping some daft cow who suggested that Dumbledore was going senile." She scowled into her tea.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "I wish I'd been there, I'd have egged you on."

Tonks shot him a rueful smile. She could imagine Sirius yelling encouragingly from the sidelines, probably whilst taking bets on the outcome.

Her cousin had sobered though and was regarding her with concern. A look which looked strangely out of place on his emaciated features. "Seriously though love, you don't have to come and sit in this miserable dump every night with us old codgers. Why don't you go back to your place?"

Tonks was touched. It was very rarely that Sirius would actively encourage someone not to spend time with him, so she took it as a measure of his concern for her. She smiled back at him.

"Go back to what? An empty flat, a ready-to-charm meal and my own conversation? I'd much rather come here and hear stories about your misspent youth." She added in a quieter voice, "I don't think of it as a duty."

Apparently reassured and his conscience assuaged of any guilt, Sirius smiled at her. "In that case you can help me with dinner and I'll tell you about the time I charmed all of Remus' underwear into lacy knickers."

xXx

Remus let himself into Grimmauld place as quietly as possible and disposed of his wet coat and robes. The weather had taken a downward turn despite being June and the rain was torrential. All he wanted to do was sink into an armchair in front of a roaring fire with a good book. Not an impossible feat in the most noble and ancient house of Black, one just had to learn to ignore the stuffed heads of the house elves.

Making his way to the kitchen Remus stopped and was instantly on guard as he heard the screams being emitted from the room.

"NO, NO, STOP! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST DON'T AAHHGGG!"

Remus burst into the room, wand in hand, and stopped dead in his tracks. There on the kitchen floor was Sirius, writhing about and squealing and screaming as Tonks knelt astride him tickling him mercilessly with the help of a relentless tickler charm. They were both covered in flour.

Remus stowed his wand away and contented himself with reclining against the door frame which provided an ample vantage point.

Sirius was still struggling around on the floor emitting breathless protests as Tonks refused to end the charm, but as he spotted Remus he took the chance to gain an ally.

"Moony, Mo…ahhh…ahhhhh…stop her Moony…aahhh….."

Tonks had turned her head to look at Remus as Sirius had announced his presence, and clearly felt the need to defend he actions as Remus raised a politely inquisitive eyebrow.

"He asked for it."

"Oh I have no doubt that he did." Remus heard what sounded suspiciously like a muffled "git" come from Sirius. "Was there a specific offence, or just a general level of obnoxiousness?" he smiled at her.

Never able to resist one of Remus' smiles, Tonks grinned back. "He said that a hippogriff and a Norwegian ridgeback doing the tango had a better chance at being considered graceful than I ever did, and then he insisted on charming the flour so it ended up going all over us instead of in the bowl. He was also regaling me with several unsavoury tales concerning your youth, and seeing as you weren't here to defend yourself I thought I'd step in." She ended with a distinctly sly look, that was all to reminiscent of Sirius for Remus' liking. He couldn't help but feel disturbed by the mischievous glint in her dark eyes. "I knew that the Remus Lupin I know would _never_ have abused his prefect privileges just to get off with a girl," Tonks broke off and adopted a look of concentration, biting her lip slightly, "now what was the name Sirius mentioned? Oh I remember, Ariadne Wilson."

Remus groaned silently at the memory, but his outward appearance betrayed no recollection of the incident. "You know I think you're right. That doesn't sound remotely like me." He surveyed Sirius' incoherently mumbling form still feebly thrashing around beneath Tonks and took pity on his friend. "However, he does look rather done in, so perhaps it is time to stop."

Tonks let out an exaggerated sigh. "Oh all right I suppose." She ended the tickling charm and took the hand Remus offered her and let him pull her upright. They both stood there smiling at one another, hands still joined. "I'm quite disappointed you know." Remus raised his eyebrows at her statement. "I quite like the idea of Remus Lupin sneaking off for a snog in the prefects' bathroom."

Remus was saved the trouble of formulating a reply as Tonks turned back to the still moaning form of Sirius and nudged him with her foot. "Oi, come on. We still have dinner to finish. And no more unflattering comparisons, or I'll hex you." She pointed her wand threateningly at Sirius as he picked himself up off the floor.

Sirius held up his hands in defence. "I promise to behave." Remus scoffed and Tonks raised her eyebrows. Sirius glared at them. "All right. I promise to behave for the amount of time it takes to cook dinner."

Remus looked between Sirius and Tonks. The cousins did not make a likely pair of hidden culinary capabilities. "You two are cooking?" he asked in disbelief and instantly regretted it as Tonks turned her challenging stare to him. Remus backtracked. "What I mean is, I thought there were still plenty of Molly's meals hidden away."

"Nope, sorry mate, all gone. So you're just going to have to endure our cooking."

"Hey!" Tonks protested. "It might not be the tidiest of procedures, but my food always tastes fine!" Remus and Sirius eyed each other sceptically over her head. She glared at both of them. "I'll just have to prove it then."

xXx

Sure enough, not much later, Sirius and Remus were quite literally being made to eat their words. Tonks had produced a steaming dish of cauliflower cheese topped with a generous helping of crispy bacon worthy of Molly Weasley. Of course the kitchen looked like a whirlwind had passed through at some point, and Tonks had graciously accepted Remus' offer of help in transporting the dish to and from the oven, but the result was worth it.

Sirius lay back in his chair and regarded his cousin with a grin. "Well, well. Who knew that beneath our little Nymphadora's tough exterior is a budding house witch?"

Jumping in before Tonks could hex Sirius, Remus added his praise. "Really Tonks, that was wonderful. The best cauliflower cheese I've ever had."

Tonks felt herself blush under his praise and offered a shy smile in response, but composed herself as she caught the funny look Sirius was giving her. "Well mum would hardly have let me leave home if I hadn't been able to feed myself." She looked round at the kitchen in despair, "I suppose I'd better make a start on cleaning up."

Remus' hands on her shoulders pushed her firmly, but gently back into her seat and gave her a quick squeeze as he said he'd take care of the washing up. Tonks felt a tingle run through her body from his touch and felt a blush stain her cheeks again. Once Remus had turned to the sink, she risked a glance at Sirius, who was looking at her with a broad grin stretched across his face.

"What?" she hissed in an undertone.

Sirius only grinned wider and leant back with his arms folded behind his head. "Nothing."

xXx

Some time and several Butterbeers later, Tonks swung her legs off the sofa and made to get up. "I'd better be going." Sirius who had fallen asleep at some point over a game of exploding snap, offered a snore in response, but Remus closed his book and rose from his armchair.

"Of course. You have work tomorrow." Tonks offered an unimpressed noise in agreement. Remus placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "It makes all the difference you know, having people like you, Kingsley and Arthur helping us from inside the Ministry. It might not feel like it, but it does."

Tonks smiled. Here was this man who was always ready to help a friend with a problem, or make them feel better about themselves and who never asked for the favour to be returned. She reached up and placed her had over his. "Thank you Remus."

He followed her to the front door and helped her into her coat. She opened the front door and turned to him to say goodbye. He surprised her by leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Goodnight, Nymphadora."

xXx

It wasn't until she was lying in bed, on the verge of falling asleep, that she realised he had called her Nymphadora. The name had never sounded so right before.

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	3. Chapter 2

**Tonight You're On My Mind**

**A/N: Thank you to Susanna and Lupinxtonks for reviewing. You get an extra quick update!**

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"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art."  
_- Miguel de Cervantes_

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**Chapter 2**

It was past two in the morning when Tonks let herself into Grimmauld Place. She'd had the worst day she could remember since becoming an Auror. Not being able to face going back to her empty flat, she'd apparated to Grimmauld. Even though she wasn't expecting anyone to be up, just the thought that there were other live bodies in the building was what she needed. Miraculously she made it to the kitchen without tripping on anything. She sat at the table and rested her face in her arms and let out a shuddering breath. Without the motions of filing reports and rectifying the damage that had been done, she couldn't stop the images flashing through her mind. Trying desperately to stop the tears from falling, she didn't hear the kitchen door opening.

"Nymphadora?" She jumped at the gentle touch of a hand on her shoulder and the soft calling of her name.

She lifted her tear streaked face and met a pair of golden eyes that were full of concern. "Oh Remus…" but she couldn't get any more words out, she just shook her head.

He knelt beside her and gathered her into his arms. One hand smoothed up and down her back whilst the other stroked her hair. Tonks grasped onto him as if he was her only lifeline and sobbed into his neck. He let her cry for a few minutes until her tears began to subside. He drew back slightly and tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes with the pad of his thumb.

"What happened?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"We were called out. We thought there'd be a fight. We were expecting Deatheaters, but when we got there…" Tonks breathed in as her voice cracked. "We were too late. There were just bodies. Children, Remus. A Muggle school. And we couldn't do a damn thing." Her voice was bitter and angry now. "It shouldn't be this way. We should be protecting people, not waiting for the death toll to get higher." She closed her eyes and placed her head back on his shoulder.

"We will Dora. We'll fight this war and we'll win." He said almost fiercely.

She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes huge and dark and sorrowful. He'd never seen her look so defeated and it almost broke his heart, that this beautiful, vital young woman was already being changed by events. "Do you really believe that?"

"I have to."

She gazed steadily into his eyes and bit her lip before nodding slowly.

xXx

Tonks was nervous about going downstairs the next morning. She'd crashed in one of the spare rooms at Grimmauld Place rather than go back home. Remus had leant her a pair of pyjamas and had sat with her until she'd fallen asleep. His presence calmed something within her and set her at ease. However, that didn't change the fact that she had cried her eyes out on his shoulder. She didn't want him to think of her as weak, that she couldn't handle what was inevitably coming. Because she could. It was the sense of futility that had got to her more than anything, she hated that she hadn't had a chance to fight for those children.

She needn't have worried. As she fell through the kitchen door he offered her a smile.

"Morning Tonks."

She stifled the strange sense of disappointment that he hadn't called her Nymphadora. "Wotcher Remus."

"Tea?"

"Please." She sat down at the table as he got up to pour her a mug. He placed it on the table in front of her and gently squeezed her shoulder. Tonks looked up at him and saw in his eyes that he understood. She smiled.

They settled into a companionable silence as they pottered around the kitchen getting breakfast and reading the papers. This was broken by Sirius who bounded into the kitchen wishing them a good morning and proclaiming it was a beautiful day. Chipper not being a word she would usually choose to describe Sirius, Tonks was slightly perturbed by this abrupt change in attitude from someone who usually only communicated in grunts before 11 o'clock.

Sensing her confusion, Remus provided an explanation. "Molly and Arthur are arriving today with the children."

"Ah, so the house is going to be full of Weasleys." They would do Sirius good. He needed someone different to talk to other than Remus and herself.

A few hours later Tonks discovered just how infectious the effect of six Weasleys could be.

Molly enveloped her in a hug as soon as she saw her. "Tonks dear, how are you?"

"I'm fine thanks Molly. How are you?"

"Oh I'm FRED STOP THAT THIS INSTANT, YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN!"

"She's right you know, you really don't." Sirius added for good measure.

Tonks laughed as Molly stormed off to berate the twins. The presence of the Weasleys seemed to have lifted everyone's spirits.

xXx

Tonks and Remus were in the kitchen making sandwiches whilst Molly, Sirius and the kids tackled some of the house's less welcome inhabitants. The radio was on and they'd found a show that was doing a comprehensive retrospective of the greatest Muggle songs from the last forty years. Tonks was happily singing along and bouncing round the kitchen with her usual exuberance. Remus was overseeing the chopping of cucumber with his usual aura of reserved dignity. He smiled at her when she plonked a plate of buttered bread on the counter, proud that she hadn't dropped it en route, and promptly tripped on her shoelace. He grabbed her waist to stop her from toppling over, and pulled her upright as she held onto his forearms. He didn't let go immediately and Tonks smiled back shyly.

"What?" she asked as he stared at her.

"I was just thinking I don't think I've ever met anyone whose cheerfulness was quite so infectious."

Tonks pulled a face. "Infectious in the diseased sense?"

Remus chuckled and she felt something tingle down her spine. "Hardly. I was thinking if it wasn't for you, Sirius and I would be sat around beginning sentences with 'in our day…' and complaining about the increased price of wands."

She raised an eyebrow sceptically. "I think you're both a way off that stage yet. I can't ever imagine Sirius complaining about the price of wands, he's far more likely to be off chasing young girls on a mobility broom."

Remus threw his head back and laughed. He looked so much younger when he was smiling and laughing and it warmed something inside of Tonks to think that she had been the cause. "I think you're right. Growing old gracefully certainly isn't something high on Sirius' agenda."

Tonks didn't reply straight away. She was regarding him thoughtfully. "Laughing suits you, makes you look younger. You should do it more often."

"As long as you stick around I'm sure I will."

She looked straight into his golden eyes, "I'm not going anywhere."

Neither had noticed that they were still holding on to each other.

xXx

Tonks liked everything about him. She liked the way his golden eyes glowed in the soft light of the kitchen. She liked the hoarseness of his voice and the gentle way he spoke. She liked the smell of books that seemed to pervade his person. She liked the way his hair fell into his eyes. She liked his quiet self-confidence. She liked the way his face changed when he laughed. She liked the way she could tell when he was tired. She liked the way the silver in his hair matched the silver of the scars covering his skin. She liked the feel of his arms around her as he stopped her falling. She liked the way he smiled whenever she came into the room. She liked his devotion to Sirius. She liked the sense of calm he radiated. She liked the way he made a cup of tea. She liked the way he said her name. She liked that he was the last thing she thought of before she went to sleep.

xXx

It was mid July before Remus realised what was happening. And once he realised, he couldn't stop noticing. He noticed everything about her and he hadn't even been conscious of it. He noticed every time she changed the colour of her eyes. He noticed the smell of her shampoo and her perfume. He noticed the scrapes on her knees and elbows. He noticed when her smiles were genuine and when they were tired imitations of the real deal. He noticed the mellifluous sound of her laughter and the warmth in her voice. He noticed how she could never quite sit still and how she was always humming under her breath. He noticed the fierce look of determination she adopted during Order meetings and how she would bite her lip when she was concentrating. He noticed the distinctive sound of her footsteps as she walked down the hall and he noticed the way she smiled when she looked round the door of the drawing room and found him there. He noticed her height and her slim figure. He noticed her delicate hands and the silkiness of her skin whenever she touched him. He noticed the softness of her lips against his cheek when she kissed him goodnight.

Yes, Remus noticed many things about Tonks. Everything, in fact, except one key fact.

xXx

Sirius, of course, had noticed it about a week after they'd met each other. He noticed the furtive looks they each cast at the other. He noticed the chronic blushes that seemed to affect them both. He noticed how they gravitated to each other in a crowded room. He noticed how Tonks spent more and more time at Grimmauld Place and how Remus was at his most charming whenever she was present. He also noticed how neither of them appeared to have noticed the attentions of the other.

Sirius decided his influence was definitely needed if anything was going to happen, because if they continued at the current rate of progression they'd all be geriatric before they even kissed.

xXx

Remus had known Sirius for long enough to know exactly when he was up to no good. He had the distinct feeling of unease that usually accompanied this knowledge as Sirius sprawled over the sofa one quiet lunchtime. Hoping that if he ignored him, he'd go away, Remus continued reading. Of course, Remus had also known Sirius long enough to know that a little thing like being ignored would not put him off.

"So…Tonks." Sirius declared.

That sinking feeling Remus was experiencing suddenly became stronger, but he refused to give Sirius any indication of this and gave a noncommittal "hhmm" sound, still pretending to read his book.

"What do you think of her?"

"She seems like a nice girl."

Sirius scoffed. "Please Moony! You may be able to pull the wool over other people's eyes but I've known you since we were eleven. I can tell from the way you look at her you think of her as anything but 'a nice girl'. I haven't seen you look at anyone like that since you were seventeen."

"You're imagining things Sirius."

"You fancy her don't you?"

Remus felt the muscles in his jaw twitch. He never had been able to hide anything from Sirius. If he could work out that he was a werewolf, he could definitely work out when he fancied someone. However, that didn't mean Remus had to admit it.

"Don't be ridiculous Sirius, I'm far too old for her, she's barley more than a girl. Not to mention the problem of my monthly visitor." Remus struggled not to snap. He was all too aware of how inappropriate his recent thoughts had been.

Sirius heaved a dramatic sigh. " I suppose you're right." He got up and moved to leave the room but stopped in the doorway. "Shame though. 'Cos she fancies you." And with that parting shot he left Remus in staring in stunned disbelief as the door swung closed behind him.

xXx

Tonks was well aware that her new life as an Order member had had a direct effect on her social life, not that she minded, but she felt she should make an effort occasionally. So the next time one of her co-workers mentioned that a bunch of them were heading out that weekend she readily agreed. She hadn't been out in so long that she quite enjoyed the ritual of getting ready. She decided on a skin-tight pair of leather trousers and a black and white striped off-the-shoulder t-shirt, finished off with a pair of black platform heels. Deciding that the clothes spoke for themselves, she kept her hair in black shoulder length waves.

Tonks apparated to Grimmauld, to drop some things off as she and Remus were on duty the following morning. She made it to the kitchen, only tripping on the carpet once, without announcing her presence via Mrs. Black's screams for a change. The noise coming from the room stopped dead as she walked in. Sirius wolf whistled and Remus dropped a teacup. The twins were looking at her with their mouths hanging open. Thankfully no-one else was present.

She looked down at herself self-consciously. "What?" She was showing far less skin than she did in her frayed jeans and cropped t-shits.

"Definitely all grown-up." Sirius murmured and Tonks saw Remus shoot him a look. Sirius cleared his throat, "I presume you haven't dressed up for our benefit love?"

Tonks surveyed them suspiciously, Sirius had clearly got over his initial surprise and the twins were still open-mouthed but Remus was pointedly avoiding looking at her. "I'm going out with friends, but I just wanted to drop some things off first. I thought I'd crash here tonight seeing as we're meeting here before going to collect Harry tomorrow. Is everything still as planned for tomorrow Remus?"

Remus had his back to her and was stirring his tea rather more vigorously than necessary. He made a strangled noise that Tonks took as agreement.

"Right. Well I'm off then." She gave them all a cheerful wave, though Sirius was probably the only one who registered it, and left.

Remus turned around just in time to see Sirius open his mouth.

"Whatever you're going to say, don't." He interjected.

Sirius just smiled his infuriating smile. "Why so tense, Moony? I was just going to say that I hope our little Nymphadora has her wand stowed somewhere handy in case she has the need to turn any intruding fingers into flobberworms. Though it's anyone guess where there'd be room for it in an outfit like that."

Remus let out what sounded suspiciously like a low-pitched growl and his knuckles turned white where he was gripping his mug.

The twins, though, seemed to have regained their equilibrium. "And just think, Charlie was only ever _friends_ with her. Mad!" Fred stated in a disbelieving voice.

"Yeah." George agreed. "Or gay."

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	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed. **

**I'm not loving this chapter, but I'm just getting it out of the way before moving on to the good stuff.**

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"Why are men so secretive, why are they afraid of the truth, sometimes even of themselves?  
Why don't they want to admit that they would want to love with their entire being because this is everything that remains out of this vanity called Life?"  
- _Sorin Cerin_

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**Chapter 3**

Remus had lain awake most of the night, unable to sleep whilst his mind kept taunting him by flashing reminders of Tonks and her outfit and his conversation with Sirius. He was half afraid to go to sleep in case of what he might end up dreaming. When she'd walked into the kitchen that evening looking like she did, he had been terrified that she would be able to read the desire in his eyes. He'd turned his back to her and steadfastly refused to look at her again. A distinct sense of unease had settled on Remus for the remainder of the night. He'd known that he was attracted to her, but he had resigned himself to denying the attraction. What he hadn't expected was the sudden shot of lust that had coursed through him when he'd laid eyes on her or the anger he'd felt when Sirius had suggested that other men would find her attractive. And of course they would. Dressed like that they'd have to be blind not to! But the instincts that had risen in Remus were all too wolfish for his taste. He'd had an overwhelming desire to haul her into his arms and mark her as his for everyone else to see. A slightly sick feeling had set up residence at that point. He'd never reacted to anyone in that way before and he wasn't sure how to cope with it should it happen again.

At around four in the morning, he had heard Tonks stumble through the front door. How she didn't wake up Mrs. Black's portrait he didn't know. She'd tripped on the top stair and he'd heard a muffled "bollocks" before she continued down the hall. He'd smiled to himself; he could hear how carefully and deliberately she was trying to tread. But as she passed his room his smile faded abruptly. He could smell her. It had taken all his self restraint to stay in his room and let her pass.

As he dressed that morning he reassured himself that there would be plenty of other Order members present today to distract him from Nymphadora Tonks.

xXx

Tonks woke-up wincing. There was a shrill sound piercing the air. Blindly, she flung out an arm and ended up sending the alarm clock flying to the floor, where the shrill beeping ended in an ominous crash. Tonks risked opening her eyes, but the room seemed to have a distinct swaying sensation. She groaned and curled into a ball beneath the duvet. Her head was pounding and her mouth felt all fuzzy. She was never drinking again. She'd only intended to have a few drinks, but the club they'd gone to had had a two-for-one offer, and it had seemed silly to refuse. However, four trips to the bar and a few hours sleep later, her stomach seemed to disagree. With a sense of urgency, Tonks scrambled out of bed and felt an unpleasant lurching feeling as she stumbled on the duvet. She dashed across the hall to the bathroom and divested herself of her stomach's meagre contents, fortunately just reaching the loo in time. As she collapsed into a crumpled heap on the floor, she really hoped no-one was passing the bathroom at that exact moment.

As usual though, luck was against her, and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door. The sound echoed unpleasantly round her head.

"Go 'way!" came her muffled response from down the toilet.

"Now, now, cousin dearest. Is that any way to talk to the man who holds the cure to your ailments in his hands?" Sirius' disgustingly cheerful voice chided from the other side of the door.

Curiosity piqued, Tonks wrestled herself into a standing position and stumbled to the door. She pulled it open to find Sirius grinning. He brandished a glass of viciously turquoise liquid in front of her. She eyed it warily.

"Go on!" He jiggled the glass at her.

"What it it?"

"You probably don't want to know, but it'll stop anymore technicolor yawns." He nodded towards the loo.

Deciding she couldn't possibly feel any worse, Tonks took the proffered glass and downed its contents in several large gulps. A strange sensation came over her, but settled a few seconds later.

"Well?" Sirius was looking at her expectantly.

Tonks turned her pensive expression towards him. "Better I think. "She waited a few more seconds then gave a decisive nod and smiled. "Yes, much better ta."

"Phew. Thank Merlin for that!" A relieved expression came over Sirius' face. "When the recipe got to the bit about Hippogriff dung I had my doubts but…"

"Sirius!" Tonks reached out to smacked his arm, but Sirius had dodged out the way and was jogging down the stairs laughing. She was about to run after him when she caught sight of herself in the mirror and groaned. She wasn't going to risk running into anyone else looking like a banshee.

xXx

The kitchen was full of Order members and Remus was engaged in conversation with Arthur and Kingsley, but he was aware of the exact moment Tonks entered the room. She was in her usual uniform of ripped jeans and t-shirt, this one a cropped affair sporting the name of some muggle band he'd vaguely heard of. Her hair was a short mop of violet and her eyes looked impossibly huge and dark. Remus felt a little kick somewhere in his chest, but chose to ignore it. Pretending not to have noticed her, he saw her scan the room and head over to Sirius. She jabbed a finger in his chest and glared at him whilst apparently scolding him for something. Sirius looked appropriately contrite for about three seconds before laughing and pulling her round to sit on his lap in the large wooden armchair. Tonks laughed too and slung her arm round his shoulders.

Something unpleasantly akin to jealousy rose in Remus at seeing them so comfortable together, laughing and smiling. _They're cousins._ He reminded himself. _Cousins!_ He was being ridiculous he knew full well.

xXx

"So…have a good night last night?" Sirius asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes that Tonks knew well enough to feel uneasy. She was suddenly very aware that sat on Sirius' lap with his arms loosely clasped around her waist, she was trapped.

"Uh, yeah. It was fun. I haven't been out dancing for ages"

"Hmm. I'll bet you were beating them off with a stick dressed like you were…though hopefully not with your wand."

"A few guys tried it on, but I'm not really interested."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and asked "No one you're interested in at work then?"

Caught out by the genuine interest and hint of concern in his voice, Tonks replied candidly. "Not at work, no." Her gaze drifted towards Remus of its own free will. She heard Sirius give a soft chuckle and cursed herself as she saw that his gaze had followed hers.

"Yes, I had rather suspected that your affections lay with a more mature gentleman." Tonks blushed and looked away. "I think you're just what old Moony needs."

Tonks' snapped her head up to look at him. "What? You think he needs someone loud, tactless and hopelessly clumsy trailing round after him?" she asked, not quite managing to keep the slight edge of bitterness from her voice.

"No." Sirius replied slowly. "I think he needs someone funny, loving and full of life to bring him back into the world of the living. Someone to show him he's not just some worthless old werewolf."

Tonks sat up straight. "Of course he's not!" she declared indignantly.

"_I_ know that, _you_ know that, but muggins over there doesn't. It's what he's been telling himself for the past thirteen years and as much as I've tried to make him think otherwise in the past year, there's only so much a tired old convict can do. A pretty young witch on the other hand…well…" Sirius trailed off and gave her a grin that left no doubt as to what he thought she could do to improve Remus' outlook on life.

Tonks bit her lip. She couldn't deny that she was interested in Remus. Alright, if she was being honest, she fancied the pants off him. But that didn't mean he felt the same way. "Why me though?" She asked hesitantly. "Any number of women would jump at the chance to be with him."

"They probably would. Moony always has managed to attract girls with that tortured, brooding act of his. But you've got a distinct advantage."

Tonks' forehead furrowed in thought. "I do?"

"Uh huh." Sirius leant in and whispered in her ear. "Because he fancies you too."

Tonks pulled back slightly and looked at him in disbelief. But Sirius merely smiled and inclined his head slightly in Remus' direction. Tonks turned her head and just caught Remus looking at her and Sirius before he quickly turned away, with slashes of red colouring his cheekbones.

Tonks turned back to Sirius, dumbfounded. Sirius grinned and winked.

xXx

The plan to collect Harry from Privet Drive had gone off without a hitch and most of the Order had left Grimmauld Place after one of Molly's dinners.

"Wotcher, Remus." Tonks plonked herself down into the chair next to him, shuffling it closer until their knees bumped together.

Remus looked up alarmed. He'd been so engrossed in the book he was reading that he hadn't noticed her approach. He cleared his throat nervously. Last time he'd looked the kitchen had still been full of people, he was now uncomfortably aware that it was just the two of them. "Hello Nympha…Tonks." He caught himself just in time. A strange look passed over her face as he corrected his blunder with her name.

"Whatcha reading?" She inquired, leaning over him to try and read the title of the book he was holding in his lap.

"A treatise on the prohibition of pure-blood and half-blood marriages." Tonks made a disgusted face. "Not one of my own collection."

"Don't you ever get bored of sitting in this place, reading tripe like that?"

_Yes,_ Remus thought. But there was no reason to let her know that. "Not especially, no." _Liar._

She raised her eyebrows in scepticism. "Well it's not healthy. Sirius might not have a choice but to stay cooped up in here, but you do!" Her stern expression gave way to a sly smile. "In fact, I refuse to let you waste away in here Remus Lupin. I'm taking you out."

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**Review, my pretties, review!**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another update to compensate for the last chapter. Hopefully this one will be a bit more interesting.**

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"A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes."  
- _Clare Luce_

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**Chapter 4**

"Tonks, are you quite sure this is a good idea?" Remus asked sceptically whilst looking up at the large, imposing building. He was, quite frankly, confused as to how he had ended up here. In the past two weeks from the night Tonks had issued her threat to take him out, Remus had been on edge waiting for her to drag him out the door. But after a week had passed and she hadn't mentioned it again, he began to relax. He had decided to ignore the acute sense of disappointment he had felt at the idea that maybe she had changed her mind. So when she had appeared in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place before the Order meeting that evening, asking casually what he was up to later, he'd been caught off guard.

"Good!" she had exclaimed with a satisfied smile after he'd announced his feeble plans for the evening. "Then you're free to come out with me." And she'd turned away from him as Dumbledore had called the meeting to order, not allowing him the chance to protest.

The meeting had dragged on and Molly had refused to let him or Tonks escape from dinner. Tonks hadn't seemed to mind and was her usual excitable self over dinner. Remus, on the other hand, hadn't felt so nervous in years. _It isn't a date, stop being so daft. She just feels sorry for you being stuck in this house. She'd never be interested in a boring, old, werewolf like you._ But when she'd smiled up at him and taken his hand, all those thoughts fled from his mind, and he'd smiled back.

Now, here they were, just after midnight in the cathedral close in Durham. When Tonks had said she'd take him out, this was the last place he'd expected.

"Where's your inner Marauder Remus?" she turned to him with a cheeky grin.

"I think he died sometime around 1985."

She snorted. "Rubbish." She was holding a large wooden door open for him now. "C'mon."

He stepped inside the cathedral tentatively. It was completely dark. "Uh, Tonks? Are we repenting our sins or something?"

"Nah, there's not enough time." She took his hand and began leading him down the nave by the light of her wand.

Remus was thoroughly confused as to what they were doing there, but Tonks seemed to know exactly what she was doing, so he didn't question her. They went through a door at the back of the cathedral and up some more stairs, before Tonks opened another door that lead into a small room. The unmistakable smell of old parchment enveloped them. Tonks cast a spell to light a few of the lamps, and Remus saw that a very old, very large book had been placed on a lectern. He looked down at her questioningly, but she only inclined her head towards the book. Remus walked over to it and gasped when he saw the words written on the first page. Gingerly he turned the pages revealing the beautiful Latin script.

"I've heard about this. How…?" he asked in an awed whisper as he continued to look through the book.

"One of the librarians here is a squib. They contacted the ministry when the book was found. We managed to convince the muggles that it was the work of a thirteenth century cult."

The book in question was a beautifully illuminated manuscript dating from around 1270, which detailed a comprehensive history of the wizarding world. Remus couldn't believe his eyes.

"I thought you might like to see it." Tonks sounded strangely unsure of herself.

Remus stopped gazing reverently at the book and turned his full attention to her. The realisation of what she had done hit him with its full force. She'd taken the time to organise something intensely personal for him, something that she thought he would enjoy. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "Thank you." He whispered, squeezing her hands. "No one's ever done something like this for me before."

They were separated by a hair's breadth. If they'd been any further apart Remus was sure he wouldn't have heard what she said next.

"People don't treat you the way you deserve Remus."

He hung his head, not sure he could handle seeing the look coming from her eyes.

She reached up and pushed his hair back from his forehead and gently traced her hand down his face to cup his cheek. "You deserve the chance to be loved too, Remus."

Remus was about to deny this. To say that he was dangerous; a dark creature who couldn't risk the dangers of loving or having a family. But then he looked into her eyes and saw her looking at him in a way no one ever had before, and he was certain no one else ever would again. He knew then that the argument was already lost, that it had never stood a chance against that look.

From the day he'd met Nymphadora Tonks he had been fighting against his feelings for her. The words 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' had been the brain's weapons against the heart. But standing here, in this dimly lit room, with him touching her and her touching him, his heart broke through all the defences of reason and logic and pounded its way to a resolute victory.

The fingers of his free hand feathered over her cheek and smoothed down and around to cup the nape of her neck. Ever so slowly, he lowered his head to hers, stopping millimetres apart, and looked into her eyes for a second before his mouth claimed hers. Her lips were smooth and soft and the kiss she offered was so achingly sweet that Remus felt something inside him break. Here, at the beginning of another war, surrounded by the relics of the long dead, Remus felt something inside of him come to life in the arms of this woman.

xXx

What with the combined demands of the Ministry and the Order, it was two weeks before Tonks saw Remus again. She was a pile of nerves the whole day; she broke a total of six mugs, knocked over eight stacks of files and tripped over more times than she could count. They had kissed that night in Durham, but Tonks wasn't any clearer about their situation. In fact she was thoroughly confused. She knew what she wanted, but she wasn't convinced Remus wanted the same thing.

As soon as she could leave work, she apparated back to her flat where she agonised over what to wear. She wanted to look nice, but it was an Order meeting, so she didn't want to look as if she was trying too hard. In the end she let the August heat dictate her choice and decided on cut-off denim shorts and a pretty camisole to combat the tattiness of the latter. She morphed her nails powder blue and her hair into long, copper waves.

When she reached Grimmauld Place, the house was so full of Order members and children that she could barley find Remus in the crowded kitchen. But then she caught a glimpse of light brown hair and she turned her head to find him watching her from by the sink. As their eyes made contact, he smiled and all the tension drained out of her. As she pushed her way through the crowd towards him, she noticed that he looked more relaxed than she had ever seen him. He was lounging against the work-top, looking comfortable in a pair of worn, black jeans and a white t-shirt.

"Wotcher."

"Hello."

She tilted he head to one side and studied him, a smile playing about her lips. "You know, I didn't think you'd own a pair of jeans."

"Well we all have our secrets." He smiled and leaned closer. "You should see what Snape has in his wardrobe."

Tonks shuddered. "I may be an Auror, but I'm not a sadist."

Remus chuckled softly, then reached out to finger a strand of her long, copper locks. "I like this."

Tonks felt her heartbeat increase. She wanted to kiss him again. In fact, it was very hard to remember that they were in a room full of people and it would not be appropriate to pull him down to the floor and get lost in a tangle of lips an limbs.

As if sensing the desire coursing through her, Remus released her hair and ran his fingers lightly down the inside of her arm to gently clasp her hand.

"Perhaps I could see you home tonight?" The glint in his eye as he asked this caused her knees to weaken.

Tonks swallowed, nodded and let out a breathless "sure."

xXx

It was a beautiful, balmy August night and by silent agreement Remus and Tonks had decided to walk back to her Camden flat. They were in Regent's park when Remus felt her slip her small hand into his. He stopped walking and turned to face her. The moonlight was illuminating her pale skin and it cast an ethereal glow over her.

"What are we doing, Remus?"

He wanted to make some glib joke, pretend he didn't know what she was referring to, but he couldn't. He turned away to look out over the park. He had foolishly hoped that they might be able to continue this new level of intimacy without having to address the bigger issue. That way he wouldn't have to face up to all those doubts and fears that plagued him. But she deserved better than that; she deserved the truth.

"I.." she started, but bit her lip and looked unsure of what she was about to say. "I want you," she settled for simply.

The rawness of that statement had him turning to her. He smoothed the hair back from her face.

"I want you too. So much. I've been fighting it for months, but the way you make me feel, I…" he broke off, not knowing how to express what it felt like to have someone break through thirty years of self-loathing. "You make me feel whole."

She stepped closer and reached up to take his face in her hands.

"We can make this work Remus."

She said it so confidently that Remus found himself believing her. That, mismatched as they may seem, they could make each other happy. He looked into her eyes and saw hope for the future shining there. Hope for _them_.

He nodded. She stood on the tips of her toes and pulled his head down into a kiss. As the last time had marked the start of something new, this one sealed the promise of what was to come.

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**A/N: I think rare medieval manuscripts are romantic, I accept, however, that this might not be a generally accepted truism. **

**Please review!**


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